Astute Unruly Me

My life in words

Dear blog…

Our relationship has been rocky. I am not seeing anyone else but I haven’t really been here for you like I should. I talk about you often. Causally name dropping because you are a pretty big deal. I think about the time that we can spend together and how that makes me feel.

When I stop and really think about what I am doing, it makes me sad. I’m all talk. My actions, thoughts, and words are not congruent. I see it, you see it, and anyone who knows about you sees it.

How can I possibly apologize? Would you even believe me? What can I do to prove it to you? I’ve repeatedly made promises that I’ve failed to keep. I have lead you on in the past. In some cases with daily attention only to ghost you for months. Sadly, this last time two years.

I don’t know what I am doing right now. I don’t know what I am offering.

We shouldn’t keep going like this, but I don’t know if we are done yet.

Love,

Shante