Month: September 2018

That is what I owe for student loans. Its more than what I said earlier. The loans were moved to forbearance for a number of reasons and I am not currently paying on them. So, interest happened. Two master’s degrees later… (what happened) Like many others, I don’t make a lot of money. I just left my low paying job, taking a big risk that I might not make any money. What I owe is probably closer to what a new therapist makes in a year in this part of the country. I have just spent hours online looking at ways to make more money on the side as I patiently wait for the group practice to grow. There are a lot of ideas as to how to make money…. Become a blogger, youtuber, freelancer of sorts. Sell t-shirts. Write courses, books, and ads. Resell items that you bought cheaply or Read more…

In my efforts to be better I have managed to ride my bike do some yoga every other day this week. A year ago I wrote a post about when and how I started practicing yoga. It was originally posted on a blog I was working on called “Thoughts about self.”  I will have some additional thoughts about how yoga has affected me personally. Until then give this a read.   I began my practice after sustaining an injury during roller derby practice. Now that I think about, the first time I did yoga was about 6 years old. I lived with my parents and two sisters in a small apartment in Brooklyn, NY. When my younger sister and I were being particularly annoying, my mother would put on exercise videos and tell us to follow along. I remember bending myself into various positions copying Raquel Welch. Totally excited that Read more…

I have an idea of what I should be doing and then the reality of it all sets in. When I wrote the post about designing my life. I might have been a little excited. Workout: This is still a struggle. I did some yoga everyday for a few days then it fell off again. I rode my bike, the proof is the green ring. Meditation: I read about ( and listen to podcasts and audiobooks) the benefits daily. I listen to a relaxation/sleep meditation nightly. Need to kick it up a notch. Writing: I now do some sort of writing daily. Either for this blog, the work blog that I am helping with, or my journal. Eat better: More salads and water. Less take out and processed foods. Stop complaining. Spend less. The next question is how do I keep track of all of this stuff. I have seen Read more…

Today is Friday, this is my last day at work. I took this job as a Career Counselor in order to complete my requirement for the LPC application. I am transitioning back to a more typical mental health counselor position working for a new group practice. I made the decision to leave this job not knowing if I would have been granted my license before my last day. In a previous post I mentioned that my license was delayed by a few months and I would have to resubmit. I was approved on Monday!! Relieved, surprised, and thrilled are just a few of the emotions I felt after I made sure it wasn’t an error. Leaving this job to focus on my budding career is scary and exciting. The obvious thoughts of should I get another job are recurrent and irritating. The reality of life without a salary is terrifying. Read more…

If I look at my food situation like I look at my money situation. A complete overhaul of how I think needs to happen first. Like with my money, eating healthy feels like deprivation and not a solution to long standing issues. My scale (Nokia Body+) seems to think that I have 36% body fat. I went to one of the health stores and was given a similar reading. Well I don’t look like I have that much fat on me so I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. Well some days its a bigger deal than others. My eating habits and a lack of working out have caused a weight creep. I feel the extra weight in my knees and back. And the threat of needing new clothes is always there. My lack of flexibility makes every day chores harder. Every day my knees and ankles Read more…

I tend to find myself thinking in circles quite a bit. Usually after watching several youtube videos. Here are a few examples of my thought spirals. The youtuber, Janell Kristina was talking about 50 things she stoped buying or using as a result of being minimalist and she mentioned that she no longer shops for her “fantasy self.” I started to read the comments and a lot of the comments were asking what I was thinking, “who is the fantasy self?” I watched the follow up video “Is your fantasy self toxic?” You can watch it and draw your own conclusions but from what I gather she isn’t referring to the aspirational self or ideal self but the person you wished you were or used to be. The person you see your self as due to a lack of unconditional positive regard. The examples given we things like people who Read more…

I have this issue. It drives me crazy. I really like to spend money. I like my stuff. I like to eat out. In the past few years I have reduced my spending habits dramatically in an effort to pay off my student loans. Because “life happens” I still have a way to go on the debt. $34,920.25 At one point I had it all figured out an then I was laid off eight months before it was going to be paid off then I added about $40K more. When I think about this debt, I feel like there is a chain around my waist tightening as I try to move forward. I try to imagine a life without debt. It existed for a few months. We were renting an apartment, I was paying my way through school and we paid off the vehicles. Then we bought a house, I Read more…